[ptsotl] MBTA unveils pointless, horrifying, new Charlie mascot

There are a couple of reasons why a corporation would dream up a mascot character. 1) Because they want to appeal to children. 2) Because they need an excuse to generate some brand awareness. 3) Because they have incompetent management who spend their time fucking around with trifling nonsense rather than fixing problems, and they need to be able to show that they've at least tried something, no matter how pointless. 

Only one of those applies to the MBTA (guess which?), who unveiled their new mascot Charlie, today. 

Last I checked kids don't need to be encouraged to fall in love with the T brand, do they? It's not a cartoon, or a box of cereal they can relentlessly pester their parents into buying for them. Secondly, do people really need to be reminded that the T brand exists? I'm pretty sure that, unlike most products and services, it's something people use because they have to, not because they want to. When was the last time you heard someone say "fuck it, let's just go roll around in a claustrophobic steel trap of human meat for the day like a band of mole-people?" It's not like there's a competing public transport brand battle going on that necessitates our making a choice. There's only one game in town.

The costume was paid for by a sponsorship, the Globe reports, so we can knock that off our list of gripes with the cash-strapped service. But that doesn't mean there isn't still plenty to complain about. Like how about the entire concept of Charlie himself in the first place? As this piece reminds us, the character of Charlie was invented in 1949 by a mayoral candidate who was opposed to a fair increase. The song describing his origin tells of Charlie being stuck on the T, doomed to ride under the streets of Boston forever because he couldn't afford to pay to get off. Today we just trap people underground because of stoppages in service and perpetual construction delays. 

Naturally when it came time to choose an icon for the newly unveiled Charlie cards in 2004, the MBTA chose a popular folk hero from a song that foretold decades of their raising prices with little to show for it in terms of service. That seems like kind of a fuck you to the riders, doesn't it? It would be like the Red Sox unveiling their new Josh Beckett with a bucket of chicken mascot this week to distract us from the team's ineptitude.

Look at this burn-victim-Don-Draper-looking dude up there, by the way.  Is this the part where if I see something I'm supposed to say something, because I think a cartoon pervert is about to walk onto the train. 

Wouldn't, maybe, a group of frozen assholes waiting 45 minutes for the bus to show up have been a better choice to represent the MBTA experience? Maybe an oblivious mother with a triple-wide stroller taking up 14 seats? Group of drunk BU turds turning the B-line into an impromptu party? That one skullet metal shredder who bums everyone at Harvard Square?

Or what about this lady? Wouldn't she be the most apt symbol of all? Trying to force her way up an escalator in a wheel chair then toppling over on her face. If that's not the MBTA in a nut shell then I don't know what is.

Originally posted at Put That Shit On the List, Phoenix music writer Luke O'Neil dick joke and horrible internet pop culture concern