Oh, word? "Texts From Bennett" might not be fake after all
When Texts From Bennett appeared,
out of nowhere, like some boon from the gods of idiotically ingenious
Tumblr feeds earlier this month, the interwebs blew the eff up with
glee. Ourselves included.
But then the Smoking Gun had to go and ruin everybody's good time
by reporting that Bennett was not, in fact, an actual 17-year-old
wangsta and probable idiot savant, but the shrewd creation of David Sheldon
a/k/a Kansas City rapper Mac Lethal. Major buzzkill.
Because don't we all want to believe that somewhere out there there's a white kid with a cell phone spewing out things like "dis bitch think i want her. she look like a vacum
cleaner" (what does that even look like?! Big mouth?) and "wat da fuk. i hear about dis nigga marilyn monro who pull
out his ribs so he can suk his own dik! how do i do it" like some sort
of text-happy Rainman?
So, we were relieved when we read this recent interview with Sheldon in the Metro in
which he basically says the Smoking Gun is full of shit and Bennett is
the real deal. Thank the Tumblr gods. But how is it that Bennett (not
his real name) hasn't stumbled upon one of the biggest memes since
Double Rainbow? Says Sheldon "He's unaware of the blog. He lives in
a low-income neighborhood called Argentine in Kansas City, KS, in
Wyanndotte County. And he doesn't have the Internet. This is apparently
surprising to people from outside the Midwest or aren't from areas that
have low-income people."
And,
ok, while this is some pretty depressing intel and sort of makes
Bennett's poor grasp of grammar less hilarious and more of a testament
to the sad state of the education system in Wyanndotte County, it's
plausible. So, until we have some concrete evidence to the contrary,
Bennett gets wise, or some Tumblr about cats who think they're dogs who
think they're people who shoot lasers out of their butts comes along to distract us....Viva La Bennett!
Oh, bt-dubs., if you're looking for a last minute Christmas gift...looks like you can get your Hustla Da Rabbit t-shirts right hurr.
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